I hate your face
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
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