so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
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Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
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We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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