I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize