In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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