wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize