Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize