I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
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ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
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What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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