her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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