69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
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If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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