Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize