Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize