so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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