How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize