my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize