I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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