Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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