I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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