And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Two words: blizzard sex
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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