just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize