i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize