I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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