From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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