help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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