I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize