my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
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hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
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Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
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