so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
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of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
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Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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