Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
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My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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