you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize