omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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