Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
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Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
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It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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