How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
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last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
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I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So much Jack, so little girl.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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