He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
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You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
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That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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