She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
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It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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