god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
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