I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
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