I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
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He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
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Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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