So drunk its hurt
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize