Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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