You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize