I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
After last night, I could never be a politician.
im holly from the hills drunk
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize