I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize