booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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