Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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