the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize