I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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