I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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