I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
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It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It's never too late to be topless.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
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You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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