What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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