The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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