so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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